A Valentine's Carol
by NMTD
Summary: Zoro's an idiot, and only a miracle can fix that. ZoSan


**A/N:**

 **I know it's the wrong season, but I've been in much need of something simple and sweet in life lately.**

* * *

 **A Valentine's Carol**

 **Prologue**

They must be getting close to a spring island. The weather's been stable enough to trick Nami's tangerine trees into full bloom. The smell is hard to ignore especially since Chopper's been complaining about it after every sneeze. No one else seems to be bothered by it though. In fact the shit cook's been in such a good spirit lately you'd think he's the descendant of some nectar gathering insect... which he might just be, considering how he always spends his days buzzing around his "delicate flowers".

Zoro stretches his neck muscles from side to side before leaning back against the wood. He can hear the blond pestering the women from all the way out here on the lawn, over Brook's violin, Franky's guitar, and Usopp's rather obnoxious singing. Of course he has the option of getting up and picking a fight with the shit cook as a form of noise control, but for now he'll settle for a nap. He yawns and closes his eye.

His internal cigarette alarm goes off before he can sink his mind back to sleep. The grass makes it difficult to hear the position of those black dress shoes, but he resists the urge to snap his eye open to look for the source. The footsteps stop at what sounds like about three meters away, which puts him outside the cook's kicking range, but you can never be too careful around the cook. He holds his breath and waits for an attack.

A few seconds pass in silence. Then comes a "thud" on the grass next to his legs. Then the black dress shoes stride away the way they came. Then Zoro opens his eye to find himself once again alone on the lawn with a small blue box tied in black ribbon. He picks up the box and examines it for hints that it might be an explosive device dressed up as a present. The ribbon resembles the material that the cook's favourite black tie is made of. The box itself looks like one of the cook's treasured cufflink boxes, and there's no way the blond would use one of those to hold a bomb. It's probably safe to open.

Zoro pulls at the ribbon where it's tied into a bow, and immediately, unwanted images begin to flood his mind. Those images have been haunting his recent dreams, images of his hands tugging on a silky black tie until it comes off, leaving an unbuttoned blue striped shirt and a glimpse of smooth ivory skin. He shoves the images aside and yanks off the ribbon. Lately his mind has become weak enough to allow such indulgence in distractions to plague his subconscious, and he needs to get this over with and head back to training.

It's... chocolate. Zoro scowls at the decorative swirls of white and brown on the surface. The shit cook must've mixed up the boxes for today's afternoon snack. Something that takes this much work to make is most likely meant for Robin (because Nami prefers fruity flavours). The swordsman's got more important things to do than pretending to be the shit cook's delivery boy though, and there are faster ways to get rid of a piece of chocolate than to look for Robin's hiding spot at the back of the ship.

"Chopper, oi Chopper!" Zoro calls. It doesn't take long before the little doctor appears from the stairs, still sneezing and sniffling. "Here, have a treat." Zoro sits cross-legged and holds up the box as the boy comes closer.

"Ah Zoro, *sniff*... but that's... ACHOOO..." Chopper wipes his blue nose and looks up in horror. "Oh no! I'm so sorry! I'll clean the spit right off!"

"Huh? Don't bother. Just eat it. Here." Zoro picks up the piece of chocolate and slips it into the reindeer's open mouth as another sneeze comes on. Chopper closes his mouth and chews, but the more he chews, the closer he looks to tears.

"What's wrong? Is it spicy?" Zoro asks. He knows the cook would never tamper with food. Maybe there's something Chopper's allergic to? The little doctor gives a distressed howl. The whole crew begins to gather at the lawn.

"I'm... I'm *sniff*.. SOWWWY.. *sniff*... SANJI!..." Chopper continues howling as tears roll down his face. Usopp puts his arm around the sobbing doctor, who's still mumbling apologies, and gives Zoro an uncharacteristic lazy glare.

"What? I don't know what happened. I just gave him some chocolate-" Zoro tries to explain but is cut off by a heavy sigh from Nami. He looks up to find her rubbing her forehead.

"Oh my..." Robin hums. Brook and Franky turn to look behind them at the cook, who slips back into galley and slams the door shut. Zoro finds himself the center of attention as his crew mates give him another round of puzzling reactions.

"What's gotten into y-"

"LAND HO~~~~~~~~~~~~~!" Luffy's voice echoes through the speaker over the deck, sending everyone running to their position in preparation for landing. Nami and Usopp try to calm down the still distressed reindeer while Zoro stands forgotten on the lawn, along with his unfinished question. He scratches his head and picks up his swords before making his way to one of the ladders.

* * *

Zoro watches from the window as the last of his crew mates make their way onto the island and disappear toward the setting sun. He has volunteered to guard the ship so he can catch up on some training that his mind so desperately needs. He sets down his swords against the bench and almost jumps at the figure leaning against the window beside him.

"I thought you left with everyone else." Zoro starts his stretching routine. "Maybe you should do something about your habit of sneaking up on people."

"Perhaps you should pay more attention to your surroundings." Robin retorts. "I suppose you don't remember today's date, do you?"

"It's February the-... Why does it matter which day it is anyway? We're in Grand Line. It's not like the seasons follow the dates." Zoro picks up one of his starting weights. Robin watches for a moment before humming in agreement.

"Well I suppose you do have another chance. You will be visited by three ghosts-"

"Ghosts ain't real."

"Spirits then, if you wish. You will be visited by three spirits before midnight: The Spirit of Valentine's Past-"

"Valentine's?" Zoro mocks with a low chuckle. From what he remembers about the holiday, it's the most pointless thing ever.

"Yes, Valentine's. That's today. You will be visited by the Spirit of Valentine's Past, Present, and Future tonight, and I sincerely hope that they manage to change your mind lest you live the rest of your life in loneliness and regret."

"Thanks for your concern, but I like being alone, and I never regret." Zoro answers, but Robin's nowhere to be found. The swordsman shrugs and continues his training. Probably one of Robin's flower clones. She should keep her nose out of other people's businesses.


End file.
